i need to make my new years resolutions...
what shall they be.
i think i will make three.
then disect them to pieces so their reachable.
yes that will be it.
i'll get back to you on what they're going to be.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
I'M HOME I'M HOME I'M HOME.
i never thought i would call this crappy temporary condo home .. but i am. i'm grateful to be home with my own bed and own bathroom... its very pleasant. i have no more 15 hour car rides to endure or creaky bunk beds to share with my sister and her boyfriend. no more cold showers or 10 people in one house. YESSS.
now i have basketball practices, bestfriends, and homework. I also have one more week of break and new years. .. woooot.
i never thought i would call this crappy temporary condo home .. but i am. i'm grateful to be home with my own bed and own bathroom... its very pleasant. i have no more 15 hour car rides to endure or creaky bunk beds to share with my sister and her boyfriend. no more cold showers or 10 people in one house. YESSS.
now i have basketball practices, bestfriends, and homework. I also have one more week of break and new years. .. woooot.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
dew FUCKING tour, hell yes.
i'm finally in colorado! as of this moment in time im sitting on the top bunk of my bunk bed in our cabin. the trip took like 15 hours.
heres the highlights of the past 15 hours of driving:
*we got a flat tire
*drove through a snow storm
*got stopped on the inner state when a random dog was running down it
*drove through the longest tunnel in the US.
*realized that a stop on the dew tour was taking place in breckenridge
*watched step brothers
*and i almost got car sickness.
it was pretty eventful.
Monday, December 15, 2008
so were starting this new project in english..its our final project and i'm so excited =D
we got put into groups of like 10 and we have to make a song and a music video about world events and our life that have happened from 1992 to 2008 its gonna be AWESOME.
i'll definitly put the music video up on here and on my youtube once its done. i'm going to miss english class.
t-minus 4 days till colorado!!
in the car list:
*season 1 of gossip girl
*homework (YEAH RIGHT)
*my journal
*steves laptop (my sisters boyfriend)
*my video camera
*my ipod
*steves itrip
*my camera
hopefully that will last me 12-14 hours =))
ive decided to write a book.
i don't quite know what its going to be about though....hmm what a way to start a book.
we got put into groups of like 10 and we have to make a song and a music video about world events and our life that have happened from 1992 to 2008 its gonna be AWESOME.
i'll definitly put the music video up on here and on my youtube once its done. i'm going to miss english class.
t-minus 4 days till colorado!!
in the car list:
*season 1 of gossip girl
*homework (YEAH RIGHT)
*my journal
*steves laptop (my sisters boyfriend)
*my video camera
*my ipod
*steves itrip
*my camera
hopefully that will last me 12-14 hours =))
ive decided to write a book.
i don't quite know what its going to be about though....hmm what a way to start a book.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
i'm slipping again
i can feel it. my old ways are slowly returning. i was actually completely 100 percent happy for about a week and i think thats going away. i'm not for sure.. its just that i have moments in my day where i catch myself thinking about really negative things and its just depressing. i hope i don't, i want to be truly happy for my trip to colorado. i dont wanna be a bummer. well i'm never pessimistic towards others and i don't actually show these feelings out in the open but i know the difference, and so does my mom.
when i'm happy, my mom and i get along.
when i'm not happy, we don't.
nothing good ever stays.
when i'm happy, my mom and i get along.
when i'm not happy, we don't.
nothing good ever stays.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
RIP
my best friends grandpa died =( i hate deaths.
it brings everyone down. i know im a pessimist and all but i never want people to die. it sucks especially when its closely related to you.
i feel so gross right now. we went to this place called tic toc for dinner and i ate wayyy to much and i dont feel good now. blehhh.
i had my job shadow today. it was boring but informative. i dont wanna work for a newspaper though. i really need to think about what i could possibly do for a living. im the biggest hippy in my family so not spending money would be easy but when i have kids i want them to be able to do things they like like i get to do. yes i'm spoiled.. i'm sorry. i'm also self centered. im trying to change that but its difficult. atleast i'm aware of that.
it brings everyone down. i know im a pessimist and all but i never want people to die. it sucks especially when its closely related to you.
i feel so gross right now. we went to this place called tic toc for dinner and i ate wayyy to much and i dont feel good now. blehhh.
i had my job shadow today. it was boring but informative. i dont wanna work for a newspaper though. i really need to think about what i could possibly do for a living. im the biggest hippy in my family so not spending money would be easy but when i have kids i want them to be able to do things they like like i get to do. yes i'm spoiled.. i'm sorry. i'm also self centered. im trying to change that but its difficult. atleast i'm aware of that.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
lets play trivial pursuit
SNOWWW DAYYYYY
it was awesome.
katie kelsey and i went to barnes and noble and read books! pretty exciting right? haha.
i actually had a lot of fun
did you know that theres more stars then there is grains of sand??
bet you learned something new today.
i have my job shadow tomorrow! i'm so excited. its at our local newspaper..you know since i wanna be a journalist..although thats probably not gonna happen but ehh w/e.
i'm going to colorado in t-minus 10 days!!!!!
thats all i got. i needa go to bed.
it was awesome.
katie kelsey and i went to barnes and noble and read books! pretty exciting right? haha.
i actually had a lot of fun
did you know that theres more stars then there is grains of sand??
bet you learned something new today.
i have my job shadow tomorrow! i'm so excited. its at our local newspaper..you know since i wanna be a journalist..although thats probably not gonna happen but ehh w/e.
i'm going to colorado in t-minus 10 days!!!!!
thats all i got. i needa go to bed.
Monday, December 8, 2008
rain drops on roses and kittens with whiskers.
i read this poem the other day and i absolutely love it...its called the day is done..by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
the day is done, and the darkness
falls from the wings of night,
as a feather is wafted downward
from an eagle in his flight.
i see the lights of the village
gleam through the rain and the mist,
and a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
that my soul cannot resist:
a feeling of sadness and longing,
that is not akin to pain,
and resembles sorrow only
as the mist resembles the rain.
Come, read to me some poem,
some simple heartfelt lay,
that shall soothe this restless feeling,
and banish the thoughts of day.
Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.
For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And tonight I long for rest.
Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;
Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs have the power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.
The read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.
the day is done, and the darkness
falls from the wings of night,
as a feather is wafted downward
from an eagle in his flight.
i see the lights of the village
gleam through the rain and the mist,
and a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
that my soul cannot resist:
a feeling of sadness and longing,
that is not akin to pain,
and resembles sorrow only
as the mist resembles the rain.
Come, read to me some poem,
some simple heartfelt lay,
that shall soothe this restless feeling,
and banish the thoughts of day.
Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.
For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And tonight I long for rest.
Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;
Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs have the power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.
The read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
and if anyone actually reads this blog..
heres my horror story from english class... its really gross and i swear i'm not that creepy
James Anthony Pattinson, my one true love. He has floppy chestnut colored hair that falls over his chocolate brown eyes and the sweetest crooked smile I have ever seen. His favorite color is blue and he is the one guy I know that likes The Notebook. He goes through about four cans of pizza flavored Pringles every week, and he works at the playstation. He writes his own music, although he has never told anyone, and he enjoys singing in the shower. I know he loves god because he has a cross tattoo on his lower neck next to a birth mark shaped like the big dipper. His home of 18 years presides on 1220 Terrace Road and he drives a 1998 Trans Am. The first and last time I ever talked to him was in the hallway two years ago when I ever so carelessly tripped in front of him. He looked at me, asked me if I was ok, laughed, and walked away. It was magical.
Then there is his dreadful girlfriend Katie Bazan. She has fiery red hair and piercing blue eyes. She is the spawn of Satan. I don’t know what he sees in her. Clearly she is demented and she doesn’t know anything about him. I hate her. No, I more then hate her, I curse the day she was born. If I ever get to be alone with her I can only imagine all the opportunities I would have to hurt her as I please.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
There she is, right on time for their date. He’s making her French onion soup. He loves onions. Thank God they don’t have curtains; it makes things so much easier.
He slurps his soup.
Look at the way she’s gripping the table. It is as if she’s imagining it to be his neck. Who would want to do that to him? Her, on the other hand I would understand. I just want to pry her bony fingers from the table and bend them all the way backwards, twist them around and pluck them off, like fuzzies on a wool sweater.
He cracks his knuckles.
I wish I could pop Katie in the head with a gun like James pops his knuckles. Just like a paper target at the shooting range. Stand her about 100 feet away and shoot at free will. Aim right for her cold empty heart and at her skull where there should be a brain. Too late for that.
He laughs.
His laughter sounds like bells peeling on a Sunday morning, calling church in session. Her laugh on the other hand, sounds like the screech of a cat being run over by a semi truck. Oh how I wish I had the opportunity to do that to her. I would run her feet over first, so she couldn’t get away. Then I would reverse and run over more of her legs. I would keep on with this, slowly crushing all of her bones in her body. Saving her head for last I would run it over, back up over it again and then get out of the car to watch her ooze all over the pavement.
He ruffles his hair.
He looks so adorable when he does that. It’s a useless action since it just flops back in his eyes, but I love it. On the other hand, when she touches her hair, I just want to scalp her. I want to take a rusty old butter knife and drag it slowly over her head, shaving off all of her repulsive ginger hair.
He snaps his fingers to recall something.
Look at the way her eyes flicker every time he snaps his fingers. All hot with anger; it seems as if she wants to stick his hands in boiling water or something. If I had a pot of water I would gouge out her eyeballs and squeeze out the jelly for my cat to eat. Then I would boil the remnants of her eyes like hard boiled eggs and jar them up to set on my nightstand.
They finish eating and he pushes out his chair.
Where are they going? Up to his room? I can not believe her! Trapping the poor boy up there! Now I don’t know what they’re doing. I guess I will have to go inside. It’s not like I haven’t done it before. Hopefully I don’t get caught; it was a pretty close call last time. He’ll be grateful though once I save him. And once I gut her like a fish. I really could gut her right now; I have my pocket knife. All it would take is cutting her Achilles tendon so she can’t get away. It would be a piece of cake from there. But I would have to send James away. He’s too precious to see something like that.
He carries her up the stairs.
I could lighten his load. Maybe I could chop off her chicken legs. Or maybe I could just take her altogether and cut her into little pieces to put in the blender.
He shuts the door.
What is going on in there? I can’t take this anymore! All I can hear is faint muffled noises. If she even so much as pulls out one of his arm hairs, I’ll slaughter her! I’ll slice off her head and... I have to go in; I am going mad out here. I…
CRACCCK.
She snapped his neck! My world is over. With-out him, I have no reason to exist. My love is dead! A half of me is gone forever!
She sees me in the doorway.
She’s crazy! She’s deranged! She is the spawn of Satan! Good thing I grabbed that kitchen knife before I came up here.
I pull out the knife.
Off with her head. She’s better off dead than alive. She was a bit of a lunatic.
James Anthony Pattinson, my one true love. He has floppy chestnut colored hair that falls over his chocolate brown eyes and the sweetest crooked smile I have ever seen. His favorite color is blue and he is the one guy I know that likes The Notebook. He goes through about four cans of pizza flavored Pringles every week, and he works at the playstation. He writes his own music, although he has never told anyone, and he enjoys singing in the shower. I know he loves god because he has a cross tattoo on his lower neck next to a birth mark shaped like the big dipper. His home of 18 years presides on 1220 Terrace Road and he drives a 1998 Trans Am. The first and last time I ever talked to him was in the hallway two years ago when I ever so carelessly tripped in front of him. He looked at me, asked me if I was ok, laughed, and walked away. It was magical.
Then there is his dreadful girlfriend Katie Bazan. She has fiery red hair and piercing blue eyes. She is the spawn of Satan. I don’t know what he sees in her. Clearly she is demented and she doesn’t know anything about him. I hate her. No, I more then hate her, I curse the day she was born. If I ever get to be alone with her I can only imagine all the opportunities I would have to hurt her as I please.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
There she is, right on time for their date. He’s making her French onion soup. He loves onions. Thank God they don’t have curtains; it makes things so much easier.
He slurps his soup.
Look at the way she’s gripping the table. It is as if she’s imagining it to be his neck. Who would want to do that to him? Her, on the other hand I would understand. I just want to pry her bony fingers from the table and bend them all the way backwards, twist them around and pluck them off, like fuzzies on a wool sweater.
He cracks his knuckles.
I wish I could pop Katie in the head with a gun like James pops his knuckles. Just like a paper target at the shooting range. Stand her about 100 feet away and shoot at free will. Aim right for her cold empty heart and at her skull where there should be a brain. Too late for that.
He laughs.
His laughter sounds like bells peeling on a Sunday morning, calling church in session. Her laugh on the other hand, sounds like the screech of a cat being run over by a semi truck. Oh how I wish I had the opportunity to do that to her. I would run her feet over first, so she couldn’t get away. Then I would reverse and run over more of her legs. I would keep on with this, slowly crushing all of her bones in her body. Saving her head for last I would run it over, back up over it again and then get out of the car to watch her ooze all over the pavement.
He ruffles his hair.
He looks so adorable when he does that. It’s a useless action since it just flops back in his eyes, but I love it. On the other hand, when she touches her hair, I just want to scalp her. I want to take a rusty old butter knife and drag it slowly over her head, shaving off all of her repulsive ginger hair.
He snaps his fingers to recall something.
Look at the way her eyes flicker every time he snaps his fingers. All hot with anger; it seems as if she wants to stick his hands in boiling water or something. If I had a pot of water I would gouge out her eyeballs and squeeze out the jelly for my cat to eat. Then I would boil the remnants of her eyes like hard boiled eggs and jar them up to set on my nightstand.
They finish eating and he pushes out his chair.
Where are they going? Up to his room? I can not believe her! Trapping the poor boy up there! Now I don’t know what they’re doing. I guess I will have to go inside. It’s not like I haven’t done it before. Hopefully I don’t get caught; it was a pretty close call last time. He’ll be grateful though once I save him. And once I gut her like a fish. I really could gut her right now; I have my pocket knife. All it would take is cutting her Achilles tendon so she can’t get away. It would be a piece of cake from there. But I would have to send James away. He’s too precious to see something like that.
He carries her up the stairs.
I could lighten his load. Maybe I could chop off her chicken legs. Or maybe I could just take her altogether and cut her into little pieces to put in the blender.
He shuts the door.
What is going on in there? I can’t take this anymore! All I can hear is faint muffled noises. If she even so much as pulls out one of his arm hairs, I’ll slaughter her! I’ll slice off her head and... I have to go in; I am going mad out here. I…
CRACCCK.
She snapped his neck! My world is over. With-out him, I have no reason to exist. My love is dead! A half of me is gone forever!
She sees me in the doorway.
She’s crazy! She’s deranged! She is the spawn of Satan! Good thing I grabbed that kitchen knife before I came up here.
I pull out the knife.
Off with her head. She’s better off dead than alive. She was a bit of a lunatic.
i'm an optimist today
me and my bestfriend figured things out, we're all good now.
it went something like this.. so i had my first home basketball game of the season right and i ask her to come. she says she doesn't want to so i was just like w/e thats chill idc although i was a bit dissapointed. then her parents come to the game and she doesn't.. shes hanging out with some guy. which was kind of sucky at the time but now he's her unofficial boyfriend so its good. and there adorableeee together =) anyways.. she and her mom get into this heugeee fight cuase my best friends mom came and my bestfriend didn't.. yeah weird i know. so she texts me and is like 'im so so sorry i didn't come to your game' and i was like 'oh its fine i dont really mind that much' or something like that. and her mom just keeps getting more and more mad at her so she keeps apologizing and stuff... but heres the kicker.... my phone was being gay so i wasn't getting any of her texts or phone calls so she thought i was like SUPER mad at her so she started bawling in her room and i finally got her texts at like 3 in the morning haha. then when i got up the next morning and after i had basketball .. i called her and was like why would i hate you? shes like cause i didn't go to your game. it was just this whole repitious thing.. again.. and once everything was figured out we had a good laugh. so now she makes sure that she doesn't just hang out with her lover since that was what she was doing for a while.. and she hangs out with me more and shes back to her old self... now she just brings him with her to the games =)=)
which is cool cause i really like her unofficial boyfriend hes nice.
basketball is a whole different story.. =( but its getting better =) i had four points last night and i didn't make any major mistakes. which is bad still ik but i used to be good and then this season i sucked big time. my confidence was already shot at the beginning of the season from volleyball and it was just a slippery slope downwards.. but then i talked to my coach which helped things with him and now i'm slowly getting going again....my turn around is coming i can feel it =)=)=)....its only a matter of time.
i also had one of the BEST dreams everrr last night. it was about my crush. =) but not in a gross way. haha it was just really cute
it went something like this.. so i had my first home basketball game of the season right and i ask her to come. she says she doesn't want to so i was just like w/e thats chill idc although i was a bit dissapointed. then her parents come to the game and she doesn't.. shes hanging out with some guy. which was kind of sucky at the time but now he's her unofficial boyfriend so its good. and there adorableeee together =) anyways.. she and her mom get into this heugeee fight cuase my best friends mom came and my bestfriend didn't.. yeah weird i know. so she texts me and is like 'im so so sorry i didn't come to your game' and i was like 'oh its fine i dont really mind that much' or something like that. and her mom just keeps getting more and more mad at her so she keeps apologizing and stuff... but heres the kicker.... my phone was being gay so i wasn't getting any of her texts or phone calls so she thought i was like SUPER mad at her so she started bawling in her room and i finally got her texts at like 3 in the morning haha. then when i got up the next morning and after i had basketball .. i called her and was like why would i hate you? shes like cause i didn't go to your game. it was just this whole repitious thing.. again.. and once everything was figured out we had a good laugh. so now she makes sure that she doesn't just hang out with her lover since that was what she was doing for a while.. and she hangs out with me more and shes back to her old self... now she just brings him with her to the games =)=)
which is cool cause i really like her unofficial boyfriend hes nice.
basketball is a whole different story.. =( but its getting better =) i had four points last night and i didn't make any major mistakes. which is bad still ik but i used to be good and then this season i sucked big time. my confidence was already shot at the beginning of the season from volleyball and it was just a slippery slope downwards.. but then i talked to my coach which helped things with him and now i'm slowly getting going again....my turn around is coming i can feel it =)=)=)....its only a matter of time.
i also had one of the BEST dreams everrr last night. it was about my crush. =) but not in a gross way. haha it was just really cute
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